The Way There
by storywriter30
Summary: Post - Home is Where the Heart Is. He knows she's scared. He's scared too. But that's never stopped them from being partners before.


**A/N: Here's my post-Home is Where the Heart Is. It turned quite large.**

* * *

It was later than usual when he returned to the hospital. He had taken his time leaving work. Deeks didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was a little apprehensive to go see her.

She was so angry at lunch – so frustrated, so defeated. And he didn't blame her. Optimism was exhausting. But he felt it was his job to be optimistic. If he weren't, then who would be? He was trying to help – _he was_. And he knew that _she_ knew that too.

This was just so… _hard_.

Difficult conversations weren't something he exceled at and so he was struggling a little bit. He wanted to say the right thing for her, for _them_ , but he wasn't really sure what that was. Silence certainly wasn't going to be his answer.

He waited until the bullpen cleared, Anna and Eric chasing Callen and Sam to the car, heckling them about false advertising and who would be the better football date. He didn't know how Sam was turning down Anna's offer to get him into the locker room. He certainly wouldn't be able to. Granted, he'd been there before.

Deeks flicked his desk lamp off and walked in circles for a couple of minutes. He could rehearse all he wanted, but the moment he saw her, instinct would kick in and he would just start talking.

He wasn't sure that was always a good thing.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"You alright, fake partner?"

He looked up and found Nell standing atop the stairs, her all-knowing glance sizing him up. For a human in such a small package, her berth of intuition seemed unending.

"I thought this place was empty." He responded. "Now I'm kind of creeped out."

She started down the stairs. "You didn't answer my question."

"I…uh…heard you had your own tough day." He really didn't want to get into this right now and it wasn't like Nell was accustomed to getting blown up. She could use the attention.

She nodded in affirmation when she reached him. "I did." She said. She looked up at him. "There's danger every single time you go into the field."

He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled. "Yeah, there is. Sometimes I don't know if it's worth it." It was true now more than ever.

"Rough day with Kens?" She threw the subject back to him.

Deeks paused. He leaned against the wall and pursed his lips. "She's scared she'll never be herself again. And I am too. But I'm not going to say that to her."

"She knows you're holding back. You two are open books to each other."

"Who knew that was a _bad_ thing?"

"Can I do anything?" Nell asked.

Deeks pondered for a second. "You could let Monty out?" he offered.

"I will do just that." And with that, Nell walked into the tunnel, leaving Deeks to himself.

Nell was right. Kensi knew that he was putting on a brave face for her, that he wasn't saying what he was really thinking. Maybe they needed to have a serious conversation. Maybe they needed to talk about the _what ifs_ , because even though he didn't want to acknowledge it, there was a possibility, a real one, that she would never be able to walk again – at least not like she use to.

But that didn't really matter. Life happened; they knew that. It wasn't a reason for them to stop being partners. They were _almost_ , but basically engaged. They would tackle this head on.

* * *

When he arrived on the Neurology floor, the halls were quiet. The night receptionist smiled as she checked him in, he was a friendly face by now, though most of his newfound friends continued to call him Detective Deeks. Part of him liked it; it kept his air of authority. And if they called him Marty he'd worry they had been there _way_ too long.

"She's listed as ' _no_ _visitors_ ,'" Nancy noted. "I'm not supposed to send you back."

"She had a rough morning, Nancy…let me try to make it up to her."

Nancy rolled her eyes and nodded towards the automatic doors of the unit. "Don't make me regret it."

"I would never!" he called over his shoulder. "I'm the fiancé."

Kensi was curled on her side, the blankets pulled all the way up to her chin, when he arrived at her door. The TV was off; the blinds were shut. The room was dark, but he knew she was awake, staring at that empty couch. Deeks knocked once on the door before entering.

Kensi looked his way. "Did you flash your LAPD credentials?"

He laughed once. "No."

"They weren't supposed to let anyone in."

"Well, I can be very persuasive." Deeks sunk into the couch and folded his hands. Kensi stared blankly back at him. "And I'm not _anyone_ , anyway." He said. He reached toward the bedside table and flicked the light on. It warmed the room.

"That's true." Her words were flat.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry about earlier."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Is that your way of getting _me_ to apologize?" She asked.

"No, definitely not." He stammered. Deeks leaned towards her and took her hand. "Kens, I don't want you to think I'm just being blindly optimistic." He sighed."I just…I'm not good at this. I want to be the best I can be for you…so I'm optimistic." He unfolded her fingers and kissed her palm.

"But…Deeks…" and her voice was barely above a whisper. "What if I don't? What's going to happen to me? I don't want be stuck here forever. "

" _Oh Kens_ ," he said. Her words physically hurt his soul. "You're going to come home no matter what." Deeks paused and took a deep breath. "When you were stuck under the helicopter in Syria and I was bargaining with every deity I could think of…I promised that I was going to get you home. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get you home."

Kensi grimaced and rubbed her right hand over her face. "It's not that simple though. I can't walk. _Our bedroom is upstairs_. The full bathroom. I can't do _anything_ for myself" She shook her head and continued, beginning an unstoppable spiral into hysterics. "What would I do at work? I told you I couldn't leave NCIS – not yet. How are we going to get married on the beach? All these plans, _Deeks_."

"Okay, Okay." He slid off the couch and squatted before her, taking her face in his hand. "We're _going_ to get married, whether on the beach or not." He promised, rubbing his thumb back and forth. He kissed one of her salty tears and she curled her head towards him just a bit for him to know she needed him. "It doesn't matter if you can walk or not. We're getting married, okay? Kens, say it, _please_."

She rolled her eyes, though she hinted a smile and Deeks knew that this time he was actually helping. "We're getting married." She said, wiping her tears. "Even though you haven't proposed."

"Our bedroom is upstairs, _right now_ ," He continued, choosing to ignore her jab. "But I can sleep anywhere as long as you're there. Please, you know that. The den could easily become a bedroom."

Kensi shook her head. She looked like she was in physical pain.

Part of him wished she was, that might be easier to cure. "Deeks, I don't know how to be me like this."

"Well yeah, partner, you're in gown and a laying in a hospital bed – no one would feel like themselves like that. If we get you some of your clothes and…take a shower maybe? I don't know, it might help."

"I want to go home," she said. "I just want to go home. I can't be here any longer."

"Okay," he said. "Then let's get you home, whatever it takes – wheelchairs, walkers, planes, trains, submarines, hovercrafts. You go home."

"I'm scared of wheelchairs and walkers." She admitted. And her eyes began to water again.

"Just think of it as something else you can kill me with."

"I'm bad at needing help," She said.

He feigned surprise. "I had no idea."

"You're going to have to help me and it's going to piss me off and we're going to fight."

"Well _that's_ an enticing preview."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "All I'm saying is, maybe I can't go home because that'll be the end of… our thing being a real thing."

Without saying a word, Deeks pushed himself off of the ground and slid into bed with her. He purposefully laced his fingers through her barely functional left hand. "Kensi, please." He said. "Just trust me. If that's what this about…if you think I'm going to resent you for needing help or because you might be a little snappy. Kens, _we_ can do this. _I_ can do this."

She slumped her head on his shoulder and remained quiet.

"I need you to come home," he said. "I'm lonely and everyone knows and they're being really nice to me and it's getting weird."

She snorted.

"I mean I liked it at first," he clarified, "But now … no thank you." He sighed.

"Kens," he continued after a few silent beats. "It may be the hardest thing we ever do. We may have no idea what's going to happen, but that's never stopped us before. And don't think for a second that this is going to tear us apart."

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

* * *

He waited until she had been asleep for a few minutes, the rise and fall of her chest even and so comforting to his still weary heart, before slipping off of the bed and out of the room. She wanted to go home and so she would go home. He had a plan now. He could _do_ something for her.

He found her nurse and asked if he could speak to the Neurologist on duty.

He was staring at her ring, rolling it between his fingers when she approached. This belonged on her finger, but one hospital proposal was enough. He could do better. He would.

"Mr. Deeks?" the woman inquired.

"Marty, yeah. Hi." He stuffed the ring back in his pocket and stuck out his hand. She shook it.

"I'm Dr. Carsky." She said. "The Chief Resident."

"I was wondering what exactly is keeping Kensi Blye here. When do you think she could go home?"

Dr. Carsky nodded. "Let me look." She turned to the computer and pulled Kensi's file up. "So her vitals have all been stable. Her neurological exams are good. The notes indicate she's here now mostly for rehab."

"So…could she do that as an outpatient?"

"Um…I'd have to check with my Attending Physician, but that seems reasonable. What's her living situation like? She's still going to need a lot of help."

"We live together. I can help her. I think it would be better for her to be home."

"She'd have to be able to almost completely transfer herself from her bed to a chair before they let her go, but I think she's almost there, anyway."

"So once she does that?"

"Yes," Dr. Carsky nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

Deeks thanked the Doctor and then pulled his phone out. He had some phone calls to make – some things to arrange.

* * *

Two days later, Deeks stopped by the hospital during a midday break in a case only to find his not quite fiancé's room empty. And heat rose to his cheeks and his heart sped up just a little. _She was probably fine, Deeks._ He spun around, looking for her nurse. Jenny was supposed to be on today, right?

He peaked in the room of the patient next door, something he definitely wasn't supposed to do and found Jenny by the patient's bedside. He stepped back from the doorway and waited until she emerged.

"I saw you," she admonished.

"Uh, yeah… sorry."

"She's in therapy. Eleventh floor, take a left out of the elevator."

"Thank you, Jenny."

She was in the back left corner of the gym – facing away from him, her left hand in a splint; sweat pouring down the sides of her neck. He approached slowly, his hands stuffed in his pockets. The male therapist by her side smiled at him.

"Got a visitor, Agent Blye." He told her.

Kensi turned and grunted at him.

"Bad time?" he asked.

"This is hard," she said. "My legs feel so heavy."

"Good thing those guns are so big." Deeks sat down on the mat beside her.

"Blye," the therapist called, he'd moved over to a twenty-something amputee on a recumbent bike, "Why don't you show him what you got?"

Kensi groaned and ran her right hand through her hair.

"Well?"

Kensi narrowed her eyes at him. She placed her hands on the side of the chair and grunted before her butt came slightly off of the chair as her arms shook. She edged it towards the wheel. She took another labored deep breath before pushing herself up again and balancing on the side of the wheel. Her whole body was shaking. Giving one last heave, she tumbled onto the therapy mat.

"Woah, tiger." Deeks grabbed her by the waist, making sure she didn't roll off the raised mat. "You need a little target practice." He pulled her from the edge of the mat and helped her back to a sitting position.

"Well, _evidently_ , I'm looking to go home as soon as possible so I need to be able to do this." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You want to, don't you?"

"Yeah, I just didn't know that was on the table right now." And she seemed stressed, overwhelmed by all the changes that she couldn't keep up with.

"It was put on the table." He shrugged.

She smiled, knowingly, that resigned and flattered and just a little bit annoyed look that she reserved only for him. "A talkative detective?" she asked.

"House is too clean," he said. "It's creeping me out."

Kensi's therapist turned away from his other patient and walked back towards her. He stuck he is hand out to Deeks and introduced himself as Shane. "You the fiancé?" He asked.

"Depends who you ask, but yes."

"Notice I don't have a ring," Kensi piped in, "He pre-proposed, but this whole hospital seems to thing otherwise."

"So, yes, the fiancé." Deeks turned the conversation back to something productive.

"Blye tells me your bedroom's upstairs. Shower, too. How are you going to get her up there?" Shane asked.

"I'm stronger than I look." Deeks smirked.

"I thought you were setting something up in the den." Kensi's eyes were wide and Deeks knew that she thought he was enacting this wild plan without doing any actual planning at all. Which was far from the truth… but not the farthest possible.

"I _am_ ," he confirmed. "But you're going to want your own bed."

"Alright," Shane said. " _Either way_ tub and shower are up there so let me see." He looked toward a stationary set of rehab stairs. "Carry her up those eight stairs without nicking the wall. You've got to protect her left arm, too. It should be tucked against you. She can't afford any more injuries."

Deeks rolled his shoulders and cracked his knuckle. "Alright, baby, it's show time." He bent over her on the side of the mat and slid one hand around her back and under her arms. He used his free hand to help her tuck her left arm against him and then he slid his arm under her knees and hugged her close but not too close. He was a little terrified of breaking her. "You good?" He asked.

She nodded. And so with only the slightest heave from Deeks, she was off the mat and in the air right against his chest. Kensi wasn't as heavy as he remembered and that scared him – how much muscle _had_ she lost? And yet it was relief to know that he could easily pick her up.

It wasn't hard for him to carry her across the floor and the eight steps were less tiring than he had imagined they would be. She leaned her head against his shoulder and murmured something about this being _kind of nice_ and that made him smile. _Yes it was_. He reached the top without grazing her against the rails and turned triumphantly toward Shane. "Success!" he smiled.

Kensi patted him on the chest.

* * *

"I'm not sure I have ever touched a saw, but I'm fairly confident I could handle it." The three other men turned back towards Eric and shared equally horrified glances at the statement.

"You don't just start with a top of the line miter saw," Sam shook his head. "You'll take your hand off."

"I, for one, _have_ used a miter saw so I'll take over." Nell edged him out from in front of the table and put the safety goggles on. She turned the saw on and cut through another piece of wood.

It was almost midnight and the team had all assembled to help Deeks build a ramp up to the back door of the house. He wanted Kensi home by the end of the week and so he'd asked them all a favor.

"So how's this going to work?" Callen asked.

"Like a _ramp_ ," Sam supplied.

"No, Kens and all her therapy and Deeks being here by himself." He turned to Deeks. "Can you handle this?"

"Your confidence in me has always been inspiring." Deeks barked a laugh before sobering. "Um…" he said. He scratched his head and grimaced. "It'll be hard, but my Mom is going to drive her to therapy twice a week and Julia will the other two. I'm hoping I can take her every Friday. Nell said she'd help."

"You can ask us for help, too." Sam said. "Michelle would be happy too."

"Same here." Callen said.

"Yeah, see…it'll be fine." He looked around, the ramp was almost done, and they had already brought the extra mattress down from the attic. Things were taking shape. And yet, he was about to panic. He sunk down at the end of the new ramp and took his head in his hand. "She should come home, right? She's good."

"Deeks," Sam said, he pushed himself up from the ground and set the hammer down. "No way the hospital is better than here. And if we need to pick up slack here or at the office, that's what Granger's for and we'll be here." Sam smiled and clapped Deeks on the shoulder. "We got this, right guys."

Nell, Eric and G all voiced their agreement.

And that was that. She was coming home.

* * *

The night before she came home, Kensi couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned as much as she could with only part of her body cooperating. She wanted to go home; she did, but did Deeks really understand what that meant?

She could barely do anything for herself. She couldn't get out of bed herself. She couldn't get downstairs herself. She couldn't get in and out of the shower herself. How was this all supposed to work? She knew that Deeks would do anything for her. He had proved that time and time again, but this was above and beyond.

"Your brain is so loud," Deeks murmured as she shifted against the sheets again for what he swore was the ten thousandth time.

She turned and stared at him. She could have sworn that he was asleep. "I'm sleeping," she said.

"No, you're not."

"Deeks," she sighed. "This is going to be hard."

"Sleeping while you talk? Yes, it will."

" _Deeks_ ," she groaned. " _Please_."

"Do you remember the lasers?" He mumbled.

"What lasers?" she asked.

"You know, the room with lasers that you limbo-ed out of because of the crazy Russians."

"Yeah, I remember." She said. How could she forget that? It was the first time she had put _all_ of her trust in him. It was the first time she realized she never wanted to be without him.

"Where are you going with this, Deeks?" She was getting frustrated, but he was still face down and half asleep on the couch.

"It will be like that." He murmured. "Things might blow up, but we'll get out."

* * *

It was almost dark by the time they left the hospital. Discharging Kensi had taken the better part of the day, between all the paperwork, exams and her usual daily therapy.

Deeks had been nervous as he had helped her into the car, guiding her left side, making sure she wasn't bumped. If she had fallen then, it certainly would have been ominous.

But he got her settled and buckled in and added a pillow for extra support and a kiss for good luck. And then they were off as he carefully drove on the freeway and back to their Santa Monica house. He took her the long way and stopped by the beach. The sun had already set, but they both loved the ocean air. She seemed happy, excited and for that, he was grateful.

Word that Kensi was heading home that day had spread quickly around the office and so he apologized in advance to her for the circus that they might be walking into. He had received a text from Hetty just before starting his engine that reminded him to drive carefully and Roberta had already called him twice to tell him that his _burley_ work friends had arrived with food.

Pulling up to their house, he found the Moms and Callen and Sam and Eric and Nell all sitting on their front stairs, Hetty holding court at the top. She pointed to him as he pulled over and nodded at the car. He wasn't sure what that meant, but he hoped it was good.

Callen opened the passenger side door and reached in to give Kensi hug. "Good to see you, bud." He said.

"You too."

And so they helped them into the house. Julia had made dinner and Deeks and the guys helped Kensi onto the couch so she could be more comfortable. They spent the evening hearing stories from Roberta and Julia about what Kensi and Deeks were like when they were kids.

Sam and Hetty edited some field operations stories and shared them with the two women. Roberta was still convinced that the job was unnecessarily dangerous, hence the situation, and after one particular spirited outburst, Nell asked her to help her with some things outside and removed her from the conversation. Julia just shook her head. She couldn't imagine Kensi doing anything else. It was in her blood. And Kensi smiled.

Kensi had seemed relaxed throughout the evening. _Happy_ , even. She had slouched into Deeks' side, laughed at Roberta's jokes and protested when Sam began his litany of embarrassing stories.

Her eyes started to droop after an hour or two and Deeks looked at their friends as if it were their time to go. They shooed Moms out first so that they could fill Kensi in on some business from OPs that they knew she would be dying to know and the rest of them filtered out.

"Need help getting her upstairs?" Sam asked. He had picked up a bag of their trash on his way out.

"You're in Papa mode," Deeks observed.

Sam stopped and glared at him. "Really? I offer to help out of the kindness of my heart and you mock me?"

"I wasn't mocking!" Deeks protested, hands up.

"Mhmm." He poked his head back into the living room. "Good luck with him, Kensi. Call me if you need to be rescued."

"Keep your phone on," Kensi smiled.

Deeks walked Sam out and then straightened a few things in the kitchen before slumping back down on the couch next to Kensi. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "How are you doing?" He asked.

She rolled her shoulders. "I'm trying not to freak out about how I feel a little trapped in our own house." She admitted. "But other than that, I'm okay. That was nice. It was distracting."

"Good," he said. "That was the goal."

She plopped her head on his shoulder and patted the couch for Monty to join them. He carefully settled on her other side and nuzzled his head into her lap.

"Try not to feel trapped," he said. "I wont leave you vulnerable."

She nodded. And he found something for them to watch on the TV. They stayed there for a couple hours before Kensi yawned and asked where they were sleeping. Where did she want to sleep, Deeks had asked.

"Our bed would be kind of nice." And her face looked like she thought it was too much to ask.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Deeks got up from the couch and made sure that he had a clear path to the stairs and from the stairs to their bed. He rubbed his hands together when he returned. "You ready for this?" he asked.

"It's you who has to be ready."

"Born ready, baby." He said.

Deeks scooped her up from the couch, hearing Shane's couching in his head. He took a second to get use to her weight, before getting confident and heading for the stairs. "I kind of like this," he said.

"Deeks," she warned.

"You're going to walk again and not tell me just so you can continue this luxurious lifestyle."

"Mhmm."

He reached the top of the stairs and backed them into their room, squatting down to place her on the bed. "How'd I do?" he asked.

"You forgot to pull the comforter down."

He looked from Kensi to the bed and then back at Kensi. "Good point. Let me get the chair."

Almost an hour later, they were back in bed, having helped Kensi in the bathroom and set things up so she could have at least some of her own privacy. Deeks had helped her with her medicine and her evening stretches. She'd seemed uncomfortable at first and he knew she worried that this was all too much. But he'd committed after his conversation with Granger in the gym and so he was all in for the long haul – whatever that was. And so they'd settled into a semblance of their old selves. And it seemed almost like they were just running an operation together. And that wasn't so hard.

"You good?" he asked.

Kensi was curled against him, her right hand drawing circles on his chest.

"I don't know," she answered. "I have moments where I am and then moments where I don't think I could do this for another second. I know I'll work hard in rehab, but just doing anything is exhausting."

"It'll get easier." He said. "You'll gain energy. And you'll get stronger and I'll be better at helping and then you'll be your old self and you wont need my help."

"That the plan?" she asked.

"Yeah." He said, "That's the plan."

"Deeks?" she said.

"Kensalina?" he responded.

"Thank you…" she went silent for a moment. "For knowing what I needed."

He kissed her. Long and slow. He wasn't sure the last time he had kissed her like this. He had missed her. He missed them. "It's what partners are for," he said.

"Is that your favorite word?" she asked.

"Until fiancé doesn't land me with a bodily injury."


End file.
